How to Lose Customers: A one-act, two-scene play performed in three tweets

Here is the original form of the play, a short blog post:



Act I, Scene I: A United States Postal Service office.

Me: I want to send this package to England.

Postal Clerk: You can't send it like that, you have the wrong tape on it. And this paperwork's not complete.

[Me exits building, walks down the street carrying package.]

Act I, Scene II: A UPS shipping office.

Me: I want to send this package to England.
[Hands clerk the same package seen in Scene I.]

Clerk: No problem, just write your name here and the address it's going to. We'll do the rest.

[The End]

This play was recently performed as a series of three tweets on Twitter, as shown below. Literary scholars will note that, as posted live, the original tweets said "Me exists" where it should have said "Me exits" thus prompting speculation as to the playwright's state of mind at the time.

Tweet 1. How to Lose Customers: A one-act play in 3 tweets. Act I, Scene I: A United States Post Office. Me: I want to send this package to England.

Tweet 2. USPS Clerk: You can’t send it like that, you've got the wrong tape on it. And this paperwork’s not complete. [Me exits, carrying package.]

Tweet 3. Scene II: UPS office. Me: I want to send this package to England. Clerk: Write your name and address it’s going to. We’ll do the rest. [End]